Q&A with Amanda
About Amanda: Amanda Glauer, Team Leader of the
Transitional Living Program (TLP), has been working at the Huckleberry House
for over 19 years. She has worked in every program at Huck House and was
previously the Team Leader of the Crisis Program. Amanda obtained her degree in
social work and loves working with the young people and their children at Huck
House. In this Question and Answer with Amanda, she discusses how young people should think about their futures and what adults can do to be mentors.
Q: Without support from parents, how
can a young person stay motivated to reach his or her goals?
A: Without support and encouragement,
reaching your goals can be extremely difficult. If parents are not supportive,
then other adults and peers can be a good place to turn. Surrounding yourself
with people who have similar or higher goals will help keep you on track. Talk
about your goals, why you are working towards them and what you are going to do
to accomplish them.
Q: Is it possible to think about your
future too much? If so, how much is
too much?
A: It is a good thing to be focused on
your future, but you know it is too much when it becomes more of an interference
than a goal. If a young person is overwhelmed by their goals and constantly
worrying about the future, it can be discouraging. Remind yourself why you have
those goals and remember that everything that gets you one step closer is an
accomplishment.
Q: How much is not enough when it comes to thinking about your goals?
A: If you don’t think about where you’re
headed or why you make the decisions you make; you should really take some time
to think about the future. Young people should live with intention and not simply
let life happen to them.
Q: Who should teens talk to about
their futures?
A: Anyone who is willing to discuss
your future with you could provide helpful feedback and advice. However,
balance is important when choosing who to talk to about your future. While
having someone who provides nothing but encouragement can be beneficial, it is
important to have someone who will challenge your goals too. Everyone will
provide a different perspective, so listen to everyone, even your critics.
Q: How can parents or mentors
encourage teens to think about their futures?
A: Just having a conversation with a
young person about their future can be encouraging. Talk about their goals,
break them down, and think through the pros and cons. Talk about the potential
barriers and how to remove them. Recognize that reaching any goal takes hard
work and there will be ups and downs along the way. Finally, help the young
person build confidence by acknowledging every accomplishment that gets them
closer to their goal.
Q: Should you ever tell a teenager
that his or her goals are unrealistic?
A: No, it is very discouraging to hear
that your goals shot down. Telling them that their goals are unrealistic is not
teaching them anything. Instead, say “let’s research it.” Help them understand
the steps, let them try it out, let them fail and let them succeed. You may
know their goal is not very realistic but you need to let them walk through the
steps and think for themselves. Up until about age 23, young people do not see
people from start to finish and they seek instant gratification. You should
help them learn from their mistakes and acknowledge their successes.
Learn more about brain development and decision making of
adolescents in this podcast.
Q: How can a parent or mentor guide a
teenager towards the right future for him or her?
A: Adults can
recognize when a young person is heading down the wrong path, but it is important
to realize that you might not always know which path is right. As a parent, you
may recognize a strength or weakness in a young person that he or she does not see.
Rather than pushing someone down the path that you see fit, expose them to
experiences that play to their strengths, allow them to feel success and let
them think for themselves.
One thing that parents often do is use scare tactics to get a
youth motivated. “If you don’t go to college, this is where you’ll end up,” this isn’t giving them something to
work towards. A better way to look at it is, “if this is your goal, you should go to college.”
In conclusion, one of the most important things you can do
for a young person is talk to them about their goals and break them down. Talk
about the pros and cons, the successes and the failures and the steps they will
need to take to reach their goals. Find ways that help them to see and feel
their goals so that they don’t lose their desire or give up.
